Eliza's birth story

I had an appointment with Susan (midwife) on the Thursday before my due date (Monday March 5th) and she was able to feel around and tell us that the baby was transverse, which means sideways (her back on one side of my stomach, her feet on the other). This was great news (she’d been face up at my previous appointment)! Apparently most babies are in this position going into labor and then they turn anterior or posterior after that. We had asked lots of people to pray with us that she would get into a good position and we felt relieved to hear that the baby had a great chance of being face down for delivery.

Saturday (2 days before my due date) around noon is when I felt the first contractions. Up until that point I hadn’t felt any contractions or even slight tightening of my stomach, so I figured these were just some little contractions, maybe just Braxton hicks. I didn’t pay too much attention but was happy that at least something was starting to happen. I went and got a pedicure around 1:30 or 2. We’d talked about me getting one for a few months, ever since I shredded our sheets with my rough heals and calluses! I had to wait a while once I got there and contractions continued but again I didn’t think much of them. I sat down in the massage chair to soak my feet before the pedicure and I noticed that the massaging was really uncomfortable when I’d have a contraction. After a few minutes I had to turn the massaging off b/c it bothered me so much! I texted Caleb and Amy that the massage chair was putting me into labor. J I don’t think it was causing contractions but just that I noticed the contractions more when I was in the massage chair. I got home around 4 and we hung out for a bit. We’d gotten some coupons to Carl’s Jr. in the mail and Caleb loves their hamburgers so we decided to go get a hamburger for dinner. While we were sitting there eating the contractions started to get a little painful. Nothing too intense but I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Caleb turned serious. He wasn’t too into chit chatting as we ate and he kept saying we needed to get home quickly. I told him I wasn’t even sure if they were real (although looking back I should’ve known they were!) since I didn’t have the crampy feeling that I’d had before going into labor with Samuel. We drove to the hospital and pre-registered which only took a few minutes, then we went home. I wanted to clean and get the house as ready as possible in case this was real, but Caleb made sure I rested. I think it was a little frustrating to him that he had to keep telling me to lay down or sit down. I was still trying to ignore the contractions. The plan was for Rachel to drive up with her kids and Mom as soon as I thought I was in labor, then Rachel would come to the hospital and be our dula while Mom watched the kids at home. We’d prayed a LOT that the timing would work out so that Rachel could get here in time. Rachel has had 6 children (4 at home) and is a nurse and has attended lots of births and studied a lot about labor and delivery. We knew if anyone would be able to help us be successful it'd be her! We called Rachel around 8 and told her what was going on. I hadn’t been keeping too good of track of the timing of my contractions but I had counted for a couple of them and I knew they were about 30 seconds long and I estimated about 6 minutes apart. Again I was waiting for that crampy feeling, so I told Rachel to not leave yet but to just be ready to go. But like I said looking back I should’ve known I was starting into labor because contractions had been going since noon! Caleb vacuumed, did laundry, and put Sam to bed while I rested. Rachel called back a few minutes later and said that she’d talked to Mom and they’d decided to go ahead and leave. I’m so glad they were inspired to do that! Caleb and I went to bed. I slept a little but not much. I had Caleb get me a cold rag to put on my head b/c my face was so flushed, yet the rest of me was cold. Around 11 pm I had a few more intense contractions that lasted closer to a minute. I woke Caleb up and from then on he was either rubbing my arm to help me relax or doing counter pressure. He helped me find comfortable positions that allowed me to rest well in between. Hands and knees leaning on the rocking chair worked well, and my favorite was sitting backwards on a chair and resting my head on a couple pillows. I’d fall asleep quickly after each contraction since this position was so comfortable. Somewhere in there I asked him for a blessing so he got his white shirt and tie on and gave me a blessing which was so comforting. We talked occasionally about when to leave for the hospital but I really wanted to wait until Rachel and Mom arrived. I had my Visiting Teacher Britany Ocampo ready to come over to be here with Sam if we needed to leave before they got there. My contractions didn’t get any worse and even seemed to spread out for a little bit. Around 1:45 am we called Rachel and they were sitting outside our house! The timing was perfect. They got the kids settled on the mattress into the living room, we got a few more things ready for the hospital, and then we left for the hospital around 2:30.

We got settled in and I answered what seemed like at least 100 ridiculous questions. They checked me and I was “a good 7 or 8.” Rachel and Caleb continued to do counter pressure. Rachel had beautiful music playing softly and kept the lights as dim as possible, considering all the nurse activity in the room. They allowed me to refuse the placement of the epidural but wouldn’t let me refuse the heploc. I had to sign lots of papers which I tried to not let bother me. I spent some time sitting backwards on a chair again, and I commented to Caleb and Rachel how good I felt. I still felt totally fine talking in between contractions if I wanted to, and I was able to breathe through each contraction without too much trouble. With Sam I remember it being much more intense by the time we got to the hospital and I was dialated to an 8. When the tub water was ready I got in the tub for a bit. I loved being in the water. Rachel put some lavender oil on my forehead and in the water and turned out the lights in the bathroom which was heavenly. Caleb pushed on my back whenever I had a contraction. I felt so relaxed. After 10 minutes or so I was sweating pretty bad b/c the water was so hot so they drained a little and put cold water in. After I’d guess 20 or 30 minutes the nurse came and told me I needed to get out b/c they wanted to monitor the baby (they like you to be on continuous monitoring with a VBAC so it was a big exception for them to even let me get in the tub at all). I was fine getting out b/c I was getting too hot. I sat backwards on a chair again and I think I had one more “easy” contraction and then I must’ve gone into transition b/c I had 3 or 4 really hard contractions and on the last one I felt the urge to push. I got on the bed on hands and knees and pushed through 2 or 3 contractions. I could feel what I thought was the baby descending and I even felt a little bit of the ring of fire they always talk about. I thought her head was coming out! I was so dang excited!!! I said, “Oh Caleb, she’s really coming!” The midwife commented that my water must’ve already broken. Caleb said maybe in the tub it had. Then on the next contraction my water broke, and all the pressure down there went away. It wasn’t the baby’s head after all. I thought for sure I’d feel the head soon though. I pushed and pushed but nothing. I started out on my hands and knees, then they put the birthing ball on the bed and I would lie on it in a hands and knees type position between contractions then squat while holding onto Caleb and Rachel to push. After a while I started to get discouraged but I thought of how often when I was running a race I’d tell myself to just make it to the next landmark. Then when I made it there, I’d tell myself to jus t make it to the next landmark. So as if I was running a race I told myself to just take one contraction at a time. This helped me a lot. Also Caleb reminded me of all the family and friends that were praying for us and this strengthened me too.

I felt like I was giving up by even asking but I finally asked Caleb and Rachel what to do -- just keep trying hour after hour? I told them it felt exactly the same as last time. Rachel told me I’d been pushing for an hour and twenty minutes and that there was nothing wrong with a c-section. I suggested I get an epidural and try resting for a bit, let the baby move down and let my body mold if needed, and then try pushing again once I’d regained some strength (Susan had been saying the baby was just molding my body). Susan thought that was a good idea b/c she was sure this baby just needed a little more time to make room for itself. But like I said I knew it felt the same as last time, and last time I pushed for 3 hours and the baby still hadn’t “molded” my body! They called in the anesthesiologist, John. I’d been pretty patient I feel like with all the hospital people up until this point but John drove me nuts! He seemed more into chit chatting than getting things done and took forever to give me the epidural, resulting in me having to breathe through I think 4 contractions, curled up on my side, when I wanted to be pushing. It wasn’t quite right the first time he placed it so he had to pull it out and try again. Made me nervous after all the epidural horror stories I’ve heard. Anyway eventually John got it done and the epidural kicked in. I could still feel quite a bit of pressure with each contraction which they did intentionally so I could push more effectively. I somewhat rested for the next hour, between the blood pressure machine squeezing my arm and feeling the contractions. Rachel left to feed Daniel and check on things at home and Caleb slept on the fold out couch. After an hour Susan came back in and we pushed for 30 minutes. I was lying flat on my back. The midwife kept saying how close we were getting, but Rachel told me later the baby’s head didn’t budge from when I started pushing. They could see the head (they kept talking about her dark hair) but she couldn’t get past the bone. Rachel came back while I was pushing. The baby’s heart rate started to take longer and longer to recover after contractions (I had oxygen to help with that) and finally it seemed risky (and pointless) to keep trying. Susan suggested the vacuum. Caleb and I discussed it a bit. I didn’t say no right away because I wanted to make sure I’d done everything possible and that I wasn’t just another victim of doctors wanting to do c-sections to speed things along. Caleb and I took a birthing class (Bradley Method) in preparation for Samuel’s birth and we’d learned all about the increasing popularity of c-sections and how doctors like to do them to get people in and out and because it’s more money for them etc. We’d also learned about how rare CPD is, and that it was becoming more and more popular for docs to diagnose women with it. After my c-section with Samuel the doctors told me I’d need to have c-sections going forward because my pelvis was just too small or shaped funny (CPD). I didn’t believe them, again viewing them as “bad” doctors with their own interests in mind. Looking back on Eliza’s birth it may have been wiser to just head for the operating room after an hour of pushing and not even try pushing after the epidural. But I needed that to feel like I’d done all I could and to really believe that I have the very rare condition of CPD like the docs said. Anyway… Caleb and I talked about how things seemed the exact same as last time – everyone saying how close the baby was, but yet no progress – and the vacuum didn’t help last time, so it probably wouldn’t this time. Then he said, “Should we just do the c-section?” Rachel jumped in, “YES!” Then she passionately talked about how this baby would’ve been out hours ago if it was coming out, now the baby’s heart rate was dropping, and we needed to do a c-section. She felt very strongly about it. Caleb and I agreed and were grateful she spoke up just to help us feel even surer about it.

Caleb signed more paperwork to do the c-section. I cried. I had no doubt going into this that I’d be successful in delivering vaginally, and had said lots of prayers that that’d be the case, and here I was headed to the operating room yet again. But I didn’t cry for long and felt so much more emotionally stable than last time. I knew for sure that I’d done all I could and was convinced this time that for some reason my body just wasn’t made to push out babies, rather than feeling like a victim. I’ve also heard since having Samuel of many women being able to have lots of children via c-section so I wasn’t as worried this time about c-sections limiting the size of our family.

Caleb and Rachel both got their scrubs and mask on and came into the operating room. Doctor Baker performed the c-section and Susan assisted. Caleb held my hand, as he had through all of this. He was the perfect support, starting from the second labor started at home. The c-section seemed to take a lot longer than last time, and they were worried at one point that they’d nicked my bladder. But after running fluid through it everything looked good. It was hard to get her out because her little head was so lodged in my pelvis. At one point the doc’s face came up over the sheet so he was right above me and I knew his arm was all the way up inside of me trying to get that baby out. I felt nauseous so they gave me meds for that and had me sniff an alcohol pad. That trick really works! I had to wait an hour before I got to see Samuel after he was born, so I made sure they knew I wanted to see the baby right away if at all possible. I did get to see her as soon as they pulled her out, and then they bundled her up and Caleb brought her over to me within just a few minutes. What a precious little miracle! Rachel came over and said something along the lines of, “I just saw your bladder and your uterus! It doesn’t get much more personal than that!” It’s amazing what they can do medically these days. She weighed 6 lbs. 7 oz. and was 20 inches long.

I had been texting my Mom occasionally with updates and by the time the c-section was over with she had booked a flight and would arrive that night.

Rachel went home and got Samuel and brought him to the hospital to meet Eliza. He was really sweet with her. He loves to give her kisses and hold her (but only for a maximum of 10 seconds!) and is going to be a great big brother.

I am so glad I was able to experience labor one more time. It’s an amazing experience. It dawned on me that the Lord helps us in the things we want to do even if sometimes it’s not the easiest route. Maybe if I would’ve been more open to it He would’ve told me to just go ahead and do a c-section. But I really wanted to try again, and so although for whatever reason the Lord didn’t grant my wish of being able to deliver normally, He definitely supported me in my desire to try again and strengthened me and made my burdens seem light. My labor seriously felt easy compared to last time. It was more of a beautiful experience than a traumatizing one! I don’t understand everything but I have no doubt that the Lord hears and answers our prayers in the way that is best for us, and that everything we experience is for our good. Our inspired home teacher Jordan Bevan had given us this quote to hang on the fridge the Sunday before all of this: "While prayer may not change a situation, it may change the way you experience it." I definitely found that to be true.

We feel so blessed that the baby and I are healthy. What more could we expect to be blessed with?? We also feel that it was a great blessing that Rachel volunteered to come here for the birth and that they decided to leave when they did even though we told them they didn’t need to leave quite yet. We’d prayed a lot that they’d make it in time! Mom Baker took great care of everyone at our house and I felt SO much better knowing Samuel would wake up to her and not to someone strange to him. Rachel was a perfect support and helped make my labor a wonderful experience while giving us the right advice when we needed it. I feel like she’s one of the most inspired people that I know: so close to the Lord, so selfless and loving. It took us until Tuesday when we were about to leave the hospital to decide on a name but we finally decided on Eliza, partly because Rachel’s middle name is Elizabeth. We hope our little Eliza will grow up to be like her Aunt Rachel! Also my great grandmother’s name was Eliza, and I guess Grandma Joyce’s mother’s name was also Eliza. So we feel like we were inspired to name her Eliza for many reasons! Besides that it’s just a pretty name. It fits her perfectly.